Compliments in customer interviews: how to deflect them

You

I'm back! Five real interviews this week, all by the module 1 rules. It went really well. Everyone loved the subscription.

Alex Tutor

Well done for doing them, that's the hardest part. But “it went really well” and “everyone loved it” worry me: they're classic symptoms of a notebook full of compliments.

You

Why is that bad? People being positive sounds like good news.

Alex Tutor

Test each call with three questions. What exactly did they like? What would it save them? What have they already tried? If you can't answer, you collected a compliment, not data.

You

Oh. For most of them I… can't. Here's what I posted in the team chat after the calls.

Alex Tutor

Let's read it like a sceptic: we're only looking for things that actually happened.

Alex Tutor

Question 1

Sofia's team-chat update after five calls. Which lines are warning signs of compliments rather than evidence? Select all that apply.

Choose all that apply“All five calls went really well!”“Everyone I talked to loves the idea.”“Olivia said it's the smartest thing CatChow has ever done.”“Two people ran out of food last month; one took a taxi to the shop.”“We're getting lots of positive feedback, so we're on track.”“Richard buys a 10 kg bag at a wholesale market every six weeks.”

You

But some of them really meant it. Olivia wasn't just being polite, I could tell.

Alex Tutor

Maybe she did. It still doesn't help. A sincere compliment is an honest opinion about the future, and opinions about the future are guesses, however warm.

Our team knows the product inside out and still argued for weeks about whether it would work. Why would a customer who heard of it thirty seconds ago know better?

You

Fair. So compliments are just harmless noise?

Alex Tutor

Worse than harmless. They feel like progress. After five calls full of praise you stop asking, and that's how a false positive is born.

Compliments are like treats for a cat: everyone enjoys them, nobody lives on them. Accept them politely, then go looking for real food: facts about what people did.

Alex Tutor

Question 2

If a loyal customer praises your idea sincerely, not just to be polite, the praise counts as evidence of demand.

TrueFalse

You

Here's the part of the Olivia call I was proudest of. I started well: I asked how she bought food last time. She told me about the shop by the metro.

Then I got excited and mentioned the subscription. Her reply:

Olivia

Oh, what a lovely idea! You're all so clever at CatChow. I'm sure everyone in my building would sign up.

You

I said “Thank you so much!”, wrote “huge fan” in my notes, and we said goodbye.

Alex Tutor

Two slips. Mentioning the idea invited the praise (module 1). The bigger slip: you accepted the compliment and ended the call. That was the moment to steer back to her life.

So what could you have said right after “You're all so clever”?

Alex Tutor

Question 3

Olivia says: “What a lovely idea! You're all so clever at CatChow.” What is Sofia's best reply?

Choose one answer“Thank you! So you'd definitely subscribe?”“Thanks, that's kind! Back to the shop by the metro: how did your last trip there go?”“Do you really think so? Please be completely honest with me.”“And there's more: it'll also be 10% cheaper than the shop!”

You

Isn't it rude to ignore praise? She was being nice to me.

Alex Tutor

You don't ignore her, you ignore the praise as data. A short “thanks, that's kind”, then a question about her life. That's deflecting compliments: acknowledge, don't record, return to facts.

Good places to land: “How do you handle this today?”, “When did that last happen?”, “What have you tried so far?” Any question she can only answer with a real story.

You

And what if the story shows she has no problem at all?

Alex Tutor

Then the call worked. You wanted the truth, not a nice ending. “We buy food by the metro, it's never an issue” beats ten lovely ideas.

Your turn. Another customer, Richard, said something similar.

Alex Tutor

Question 4Short answer · AI-checked task

Richard, a customer, interrupts Sofia: “Honestly, you guys always come up with great stuff. A subscription? I'd recommend it to all my friends!” Write Sofia's reply (1–2 sentences) that deflects the compliment and returns to facts about Richard's life.

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You

Confession: part of me wanted the praise. Before one call I even wrote down: “So, do you think this could work for you?”

Alex Tutor

That's fishing for compliments: asking for approval instead of information. You've already decided, and you want someone to say “go”.

You

How do I catch myself doing it?

Alex Tutor

Listen for questions with one pleasant answer: “Do you like it?”, “Will it work?”, “Handy, right?” A question about your idea is fishing; a question about their life is learning.

You can fish without a question, too. A long hopeful pause after describing your idea works the same way: people fill the silence with the kind word you're waiting for.

Alex Tutor

Question 5

Dana, a PM at a Ukrainian accounting SaaS, plans calls with accountants. Which question asks for information, not approval?

Choose one answer“Do you think automatic reminders would save you time?”“We've built a new reminders module. What do you think of it?”“The last time a client paid late, what did you do to chase them?”“Wouldn't it be great if reminders went out by themselves?”

Megan

Hi both! My team starts customer calls next week. I've written our opener. Tell me what you think:

“We've spent six months on this subscription and our jobs depend on it. So please be brutally honest with us!”

Alex Tutor

Asking for honesty is well meant, but the first sentence cancels it. Once people hear how much you've invested, they start protecting you. Nobody wants to be the one who sank six months of work.

That's the Pathos Problem: the more hope and ego you show, the more kindly people lie. “Be brutally honest” doesn't help; it only shows how much the answer means to you.

You

So how do we get honest answers if asking for honesty doesn't work?

Alex Tutor

Leave yourself out of it. Ask about their life and their last purchase. People rarely bend the truth about last Tuesday, and your feelings aren't on the table.

Alex Tutor

Question 6

Match each line from CatChow's call drafts and notes to what's going on.

Pick an answer for each row. Choosing an answer that is already used moves it to this row.

“Do you think the subscription will work for you?”
Choose an answer
“It's my first big project here, so please be honest with me!”
Choose an answer
“Wow, you've thought of everything!”
Choose an answer
“How did you get food home the last time you bought it?”
Choose an answer

Megan

Ouch. Fine, no sob story. But I still have to say why we're calling, or people will think it's a sales call.

Alex Tutor

Fair point. A short neutral reason works: you want to understand how cat owners buy food. No project, no jobs on the line.

You

And no mention of the subscription, so there's nothing to compliment.

Alex Tutor

Exactly. Write Megan a new opener her team can say in two or three sentences.

Alex Tutor

Question 7Short answer · AI-checked task

Megan's opener for her team's calls: “We've spent six months on this subscription and our jobs depend on it. So please be brutally honest with us!” Write a new opening (2–3 sentences) that avoids the Pathos Problem and invites real stories.

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You

Now I'm scared to re-read my notes from the other calls.

Alex Tutor

Don't be. Compliments usually sit on top of something useful. People mention facts in passing, between the nice words.

You

So I dig out the facts and put the praise in a separate pile?

Alex Tutor

Yes. And note what you'd ask each person if you called back. A follow-up call is cheap, and people rarely mind.

Alex Tutor

Question 8Case · AI-checked task

Analyse Sofia's notes from three more calls and rewrite her team update.

Sofia's notes:

Hannah: “Such a cute idea, I'd get it for sure! Although last month I forgot to buy food and my cat ate our chicken soup for two days. Anyway, you're doing great work!”
Richard: “You guys always come up with great stuff. I buy a 10 kg bag at the wholesale market every six weeks. It's a pain to carry up to the fourth floor, but it's half the shop price.”
Irene: “Love it, honestly. My sister would love it too. When are you launching?”

Her draft update for the team: “Three more fans! Everyone loves the subscription.”

Write 150–300 words: compliments vs facts, what the facts suggest, one follow-up question per person, and an honest version of the team update.

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You

So the goal isn't to avoid compliments. It's to stop them from ending the conversation.

Alex Tutor

Right. Praise will come anyway, people are kind. Say thanks, write nothing down, and ask what actually happened.

Alex Tutor

Next lesson: the compliment's vaguer cousin, fluff. “I always…”, “I would…”, “I might…”, and how to pin it down to one real story.

Alex Tutor

That’s the lesson. You answered every task — nicely done.

Next lesson: Fluff: generic, future and hypothetical answers